When things are great – but just don’t feel right

Have you ever been in a position where everything is going along well, really well – business is good, family is great BUT you just know that there is something not right for you? A feeling of ‘so what?’ – or ‘but what’s next?’ – it’s not a feeling that is particularly disturbing or depressing; rather it is just there with you, prodding you to answer your own questions. Prod, prod, prod! Eventually the voice gets louder and louder in your head – or is it your heart? – you have to answer it….don’t you?

You could ignore it I suppose. In my experience as a leadership coach, ignoring has a short term impact that you can convince yourself all is well and life is the best it can be. However, long term it becomes a bit like a thorn in your sock, it rubs away, it’s not life threatening but with each step the wound becomes deeper and ends up a bloody, ugly mess in your shoe.

And when you are in this space of – what – confusion, pain, discontent, you are stressing yourself. You live in a tense way, your decision making gets a bit foggy, your overall ‘happiness’ level drops.

So, if you can imagine that scenario then imagine this – you stop, take a seat and take the thorn out, bathe your wounds and remove anything that is rubbing away. You can do this with that voice going on at you. Stop, reflect and really listen to the questions that are coming up. Engage in your inner dialogue. Start to really listen to yourself as you would listen to someone you cared deeply about. Listen to the wise questions you are asking yourself.

So here are a few tips to act on to start to ‘feel right’

  • Give yourself reflective time each day. You can use meditative or mindfulness practices to create that calm reflective state. With practice you will access the answers that lie deep within your consciousness, or maybe it is the unconsciousness?
  • Keep a journal, notice your thinking, notice your feelings, write in it every day
  • Write down the things you are grateful for, every day
  • Notice the things in your life that you are putting up with – just notice.
  • Use this reflective noticing to decide what is the first change you would like to make
  • Make a list, or a mindmap of the things you want to change.

So this is just all about noticing what is currently going on for you. Just notice, without judgement or worry. If you have read anything about quantum physics you will already know that by putting your energy and focus onto something it has already changed. So spend the next week to notice, journal, listen to your own questions and next blog will be the next steps……till then just enjoy. Feel free to send your comments after you have tried this. How did you experience stopping and listening to yourself?

Gai Foskett is one of two Master Certified Coaches in New Zealand. Gai specialises in executive leadership coaching.
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